Written by Morgan Daniels
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Topics: Death, London, Killing

Monday, 14 January 2002

image for Loads dead in London
London - not a soul to be seen.

A man has run into the middle of London, a typically big city, and killed everyone with a chain saw. Blood and eyes are still being cleaned off things such as dogs and monuments.

Victims were heard to shout "oh God oh sweet Jesus have mercy oh my face oh pain it's agony"
and also "aaaargh help me ah fuck it oh fuckity ah bugger oh God no oh the horror".

An onlooker did not comment because he was killed.

Police are treating the deaths as suspicious.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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