Written by Kozmik Ken
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Saturday, 3 January 2009

image for HRH Shaun Ryder
Not as offensive as he used to be! Prince Philip yesterday

Buckingham Palace sources yesterday confirmed that Shaun Ryder is shortly to be revealed as replacement for the increasingly failing Prince Philip.

An unnamed insider from the Palace publicity department stated. "old age is starting to catch up with Philip and he's just not as offensive and controversial as he used to be." He continued, "on a recent trip to China he failed to offend anyone. The local population were very disappointed. I think now even Philip realises that it's time to step aside for a younger man."

Although no comment has yet be issued by The Queen, she is said to be tremendously excited by the opportunity to work with Mr Ryder, who's work she has always admired.

Our source commented further, "Mr Ryder has an enviable track record for causing upset and is a prolific user of expletives. We are all very much looking forward to getting back on track and offending ordinary people from all around the world. We have a lot of catching up to do."

It is unclear if Philip will pass his HRH title onto Ryder yet, or if he will just assume the role of consort. An official announcement is expected within the next week and Ryder will begin taking on public appointments and reliving Prince Philip of most of his duties from April.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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