Written by Specs Haver
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Friday, 2 January 2009

image for Brown angry at companies for pinching best slogans
Labour is Lovin' it

Prime Minister Gordon Brown yesterday launched a stinging attack on some of the best known international companies, when he revealed that the Government has still not been able to come up with a catchy slogan despite being in power for over 10 years

Said an angry Mr Brown - "Ever since we all sang Things Can Only Get Better on that election night in 1997, it was obvious that we needed a corporate image so that the public could identify with us. So we set up a Cabinet committee to come up with an image and slogan.

"Each time they've suggested one which we liked, some bloody company has started using it in their TV adverts. For example, the first one was I'm Lovin' It - we were delighted with that. It celebrated our victory, riding the crest of a wave, with a street spelling of the word Loving without the 'g' which was sure to attract the young voters. Then what happens - bloody McDonalds.

"So we went for Because You're Worth It instead …. you know, to let people see that we were focused on repaying their faith in us. Bloody L'Oreal put paid to that, just as we were about to print the adverts.

"Then we came up with Every Little Helps - when we introduced the 10p tax band. But Tesco buggered that.

"After the recent financial troubles, we're thinking of going with Borrow… and the Debt is Gone, but I'm a bit worried that people will just think I'm that bloke in the Cilit Bang adverts.

"Mind you, its not just us that's having this problem of getting our slogans nicked. Apparently Cameron was ready to go with Try Something New Today, but Sainsbury's got in first. Ya beauty !! "

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