Hundreds of Geordies were rushed into hospitals in the North East tonight suffering from cringeing embarrassment following the Toon's 5-1 home drubbing by a frankly, not that great Liverpool team.
'It was a joke that was,' said one as he was consoled by a St John's Ambulance volunteer. 'Thev med uz a laughin' stock that team have.'
Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear refused to attend a post match interview and was reportedly hiding in a cupboard.
Newcastle striker, Michael Owen was suffering from a slightly bloody knee.
Freddie Shepherd, who didn't attend the match, was reportedly tending his sheep.
One Newcastle fan, sporting a black eye was too distraught to comment, although he did agree to spit some feathers for the benefit of the media.
More as we get it.