Written by Randy Atlantis
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Topics: Jade Goody

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Former Big Brother star Jade Goody thought about scratching her leg yesterday, before deciding against it. She broke the news at a hastily convened press conference in the early hours of this morning.

'I was about to scratch it, but then the itch just went away all by itself' said the brave former racist 'apparently scratching an itch can make it worse, so it was a very close call, but you know what I'm like' joked the ex-serial liar.

Although she has been accused of exaggerating the severity of her itch to gain public sympathy, Consultant Scratchologist Dr Ann Coxon said today, 'it was potentially a very serious situation, had Jade scratched her leg she would definitely have died one day.'

Max Clifford was unavailable for comment as he was busy blackmailing a journalist.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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