Written by Harry Porter
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Friday, 11 June 2004

image for Blair and cronies set sights on rock stardom
Bomber Blair's choice of weapon - a Gretsch?

As the Labour Party licks its wounds after being drubbed in the local elections, it is emerging that Tony Blair may not be seeking a third term in office.

It appears Britain's Prime Minister is now seriously considering a new career in rock music.

While it's well-known that Blair has a penchant for guitar playing, it seems Labour's beleaguered leader is planning to front a band with his cronies.

Jake Somerville, owner of London's Strings Attached music store, has revealed details of a bizarre meeting with Blair just after the first election results were posted.

"Although he was wearing jeans and a tee shirt, I knew it was him right away," said Jake. "I always figured him for a Stratocaster type of guy but it was a big-bodied Gretsch that caught his eye."

According to Jake, the PM called himself ‘Bomber' and said he was putting together a band that would make "this world, your world, and our world" sit up and take notice.

He said ‘Animal Ali' would be ‘banging the skins, man' with ‘Mandy' on bass - references which have been interpreted as former spin guru Alastair Campbell and long time soul mate, Hartlepool MP Peter Mandelson.

Jake added: "I don't think he knew I'd recognised him and when I asked him what the band would be called, he said the Downing Street Destroyers."

It is unknown whether Mr Blair's curvaceous wife, Cherie, would be included in the line-up of Bomber Blair and the Downing Street Destroyers although she has recently sung in public, delivering an impromptu version of The Beatles' ‘When I'm 64' which stunned the world.

"As he left the shop, saying he would be back when he got his bonus," Jake added, "I asked him if they had any gigs booked.

"He told me to watch out as they had a huge fan base in the States and they could well ‘conquer America'. Then he said they'd leave out the Middle East for a while, ‘to let the dust settle'."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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