Written by Mike 'Pike' Esquire
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Topics: Woolworths

Friday, 12 December 2008

image for Woolworth-less sh*t!
It's a shit business

It's the most successful day of trading in Woolworth history today! With a load of debt from living in credit, the Woolworth-less head crackpots have hit on a goldmine with a clever marketing scam aimed at the dim-witted.

Theresa (16), single mother of 2 from Birmingham said 'yesterday I got these variety pack of chocolates to feed me kid's this christmas for £2.50. Today with all this excitement i have to pay £3.99. It's fucking great!'

With the scenario and scam explained, Theresa promptly took a shit in the pic 'n' mix and smashed her lambrini in the polish assitants face.

She then promptly headed to Tesco's for a buy one get one free offer.

Sir G. Mulcahy has advised 'yeah sure, we have removed anything worth selling from the stores in preperation for the event and have stocked the shelves with worthless crap like tinsel covered tampons. And it's working great ey!'

Who knows what will happen next? Does anyone actually care?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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