Written by jeremy griffiths

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Wednesday, 10 December 2008

image for Victoria Beckhams "Smileox" Lift
"The wee pee-pee" room

Icequeen and legendary misery, Vicky Becks has undergone radical surgery since deciding a smile would flog more frocks.

The radical procedure which has put Vikky in the Sac-harin insecurity wing of the Disney rehab. facility for 5 weeks has resulted in a permanent happy faced Vicks who is now incapable of any other expression.

The procedure is not without it's drawbacks, at a recent friend's funeral, whose lips and face had burst after excessive botox, our Vik caused a near riot with her inappropriate brighly grinning visage.

The revolutionary procedure was pioneered in Cheshire, using gut from specially bred Cheshire cats, first trialed on Div'n two footballers wives, the procedure has now been refined and licenced to the Sac-harin facility in L.A.

The only other minor side effect is controlled by sedative drugs, in cases where these are neglected the patient has been known to screech like an untuned violin when tense or emotional. In Vicks case any mention of the word "Loos" is a particular stress. As is well known, the toilet in the Becks household is always refered to as the "The wee pee-pee room".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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