Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Monday, 8 December 2008

image for 'Sell-Out' Russell Brand Dedicates Award To His Blobby Rich Friend Ross!
I dedicate this cup....Oh.. er.... to a rich bleeding sod, dun I!

Dirty-Sex man and slimy foul-mouthed coward Russell Brand; ran off like a baby girl, to America, after swearing at a lovely pensioner. He now has breezed back to the UK, without a care in the world to pick up some award and probably some penicillin.

For some reason, the filthy one, who doesn't have the power to give you S.T.D's , by mentioning his name three times- was given an award for his services to humour (cough, cough, vomit) and sell-out concerts. Sell-out by concert, sell-out by nature!

His overpaid, blobby, foul-mouthed, lisping, pansy, mate Ross, didn't turn up for the ceremony, as he was in hiding, in his mansion/castle- constructed entirely from money.

Fair-weathered friend Brand dedicated his award to his multi-millionaire chum. In previous years awards have been dedicated to sick kiddies, aged grand-parents, political prisoners, pioneers of industry.

However, hypocritical Brand with his understanding of ordinary people, felt the need to dedicate his award to a man who has become obscenely RICH from the licence fees OF pensioners, the low-income brigade, the sick, disabled, the proletariat, single-parents, the redundant and hard up. Even Karen Matthews had a licence!

Dr Gerard McGarry, said " I totally agree with Brand, the middle-class, multi-millionaire, middle-aged, white man, so often gets overlooked and ignored in society. Russell made a stand for the filthy rich and that's okay with me. But what do I know I have a teeny penis".

After the show Russell "oh er missus" Brand, attended a demonstration to raise the salaries of U.K's CE0's by 2%, in order for them to get a well-deserved million pounds a week. He then went to the Isle of Man for a 'sell-out' concert. Our sources say, he possibly shagged everyone on the Island, as 'mass' moaning was heard as far as 'Norway'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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