Research by some researchers today concluded that teens were planning a veritable bonkfest over the Xmas holiday period.
It seems that most teens these days arrange their sexual exploits around significant dates, such as Xmas, Easter, Halloween, the summer solstice etc. in order to render them more memorable.
'That sounds about reet,' said Tracy Phonebox of North Shields, Tyne and Wear. 'I plan to give wor Gazza a reet good nosh job on Chrissy morning. It'll be me forst time, an I wanna make it reet speshul an that.'
'I'm looking at a bit of back door action,' said Veronica Verruca, 19, of Manchester. 'My lad has a thing about porno movies and he's always banging on about how he'd love to do me up the tradesman's. I've never done it before but it saves me buying him a present.'
'I'm hoping my girlfriend will take the hint and make good use of the rubber Catwoman outfit I've bought her for Christmas,' quipped Giles Twatt of Chelsea. 'She's already signed up for purring lessons, so things are looking good.'
So while Brit teens prepare for an Xmas bonkfest which will in all probability leave them bandy legged and gasping for breath, their parents and grandparents will do all the usual boring Xmas crap like cooking the dinner, carving the turkey, watching the Queen's speech and getting spectacularly pissed out of their brains as they wistfully reminisce about the halcyon days of their teens when they themselves started proverbial firestorms with their own bedroom athletics routines.
Merry Christmas everyone.