Written by Mike 'Pike' Esquire
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Topics: Religion, Christmas

Thursday, 4 December 2008

image for New wave of 'Je-hobo' witnesses terrorise Port Flangey
Sgt Earlmeyer on patrol around Port Flangey before his 'disappearance'

With the continuing decline of religous interest and the increasing hostility towards 'Our friends of the Lord' in Britain, a new wave of radical Jehovah witnesses are getting their own back on the small town of Port Flangey, South Wales.

Reports compiled by town 'bobby' Sgt. Earlmeyer Latrine describe various anti social acts and generally rude behaviour from the locally dubbed 'Je-Hobo' witnesses when declined entry to citizens homes.

Attacks include the proverbial shitting and pissing through letterbox's to the more extreme 'bible bashing gangs' that roam the streets at night initially disguised as tramps, beating declining individuals brains in with large bibles.

Sgt. Earlmeyer warns 'these complex attacks suggest a more organised structure. Can we really be sure these sick bastards will not be invading and occupying further advantageous positions, converting the idiotic or spilling brain matter all over our clean streets? I think not, it's just like that time in Normandy'

Sgt. Earlmeyer who publically declared he is to infiltrate the mob has since been missing and presumed 'Christian'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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