Written by Mike 'Pike' Esquire

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Wednesday, 3 December 2008

image for Queen witnessed rehearsing new speech tactics
'HRH, 2 hours after alleged events gleefully denies the claims'

During the early hours of this morning. MR Tap, a local postman for the area witnessed Her Majesty performing what can only be described as a 'Bizarre and vicious rehearsal' for her new angle on the annual gibberish spouted during Christmas lunch.

Reports are hazy but what's clear is HRH was clearly seen beating a Gordon Brown shaped pinata hung from a noose from her favourite money tree.

Before being violently escorted from the property boundary by a number of Foot Guards Mr Tap also glimpsed Prince Phillip dressed in nothing but war paint spurring the obsessed mature Royal into a frenzy of killer blows to the spine of the makeshift MP before she stubbed out her B&H on the dummy's eye.

A spokesman for 'Liz Mountbatten' denies the claims but explains she is 'in bed suffering from exhaustion following a heavy night on K'

Further updates will follow when Mr Tap comes out of his coma.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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