Written by Daniel Tate
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Topics: Death, Gasoline

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

image for Petrol Usage Warnings

News comes today of the Government's new multi-million pound advertising campaign aimed at reducing the risks of what it says is "improper use of petrol".

The recent reduction in the price of petrol at the pump has been welcomed by those on the forecourt, as well as many others we asked who weren't on the forecourt.

Petrol's relatively cheap cost has come at a price though, or so it seems.

"Consumers are taking full advantage of the current cost of petrol", explained Becky Simcaster, head of the Government's new advertising campaign. "Unfortunately, what they're doing with it is at best undesirable."

With a litre of petrol rivaling the cost of bottled water, people have been using the fuel product in its place, causing great concern for the public's safety.

Beck Simcaster agrees. "They're bathing in it. They're washing their car in it. One family in Bolton are boiling their potatoes in it right now, as we speak. We realise it's a difficult financial time for a lot of people and there's many things you can do to help your money stretch that little bit further, but boiling your potatoes in petrol isn't one of them."

Already there have been fatalities due to people's new-found love of petrol. Four people died in Dorset last Tuesday whilst trying to put out an outdoor wood fire with a bucket of petrol.

The television adverts will debut this Friday, warning consumers about the adverse effects of improper petrol use.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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