Atlantic Ocean - (Apocalyptic Mess): Deep beneath the murky Atlantic waters Britain's patrolling nuclear submarines hold the fate of UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's government.
Newly updated NATO military orders held in the subs' cyber attack-proof vaults are unequivocal: use all 'reasonable force' to guard against foreign intervention in the event of Queen Elizabeth II's death.
The instructions also spell doom for the entire Labour government, two thirds of David Cameron's Tory opposition, LibDem front bench spokesmen, assorted Northern Ireland MPs, BNP members and 'every single Scottish Nationalist Party member'.
'All these bastards face treason charges," Prof V Smart of NATO military intelligence said today.
"Blair and his fetid wife may have started it all but the current lot are responisble for bankrupting wwestern democracy."