The Archbishop of Canterbury has spoken out on behalf of the British public claiming "enough is enough" and wants reported celebrity sex fiends such as Boy George and Gordon Ramsay to be either jailed or deported for any further infringements involving the removal of their trousers or the touching of someone elses private parts.
"I think we've all had enough" claimed a fed up Rowan Williams this morning "It seems a person can't open a newspaper these days without being confronted with stories about these people inserting things into each others bottoms or doing something strange with small animals"
The Archbishop went on to blast several celebrities claiming their behaviour is having a dramatic effect on the general public.
"I for one refuse to use a public convenience just in case halfway through doing my business I'm confronted by George Micheal with his pants down around his ankles" he said "and I'm sure I'm not the only person who lies in bed at night wondering what disgraceful act Elton John might be putting himself through"
A spokesperson from the show business world has hit back at the Archbishops comments saying it's the newspapers and their invasive tactics that should be rebuked.
"What celebrities do in their own time is totally up to them" the spokesperson said "and if that involves doing something funny with a champagne bottle or dropping a gerbal down their pants then so be it"