Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 27 November 2008

image for Jungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.
Warning: Could Possibly Explode At Altitude.

I'm a Celeb Get Me Out Of Here contestant and all round useless bitch Nicola 'Placcy-Baps' McLean (who we'd never even heard of prior to this because we don't read the Daily Liar) complained that her boobs were cold during a jungle trial, forcing the P3 model to give in early doors.

Upon returning to camp she invited her fellow campers to cop a feel, in order to prove her somewhat ludicrous case.

They agreed that her placcy-baps wer indeed quite cold.

Commenting from a TV studio in London, Katie Price, the much respected ex-contestant and noted intellectual formerly known as Jordan was quick to offer a nauseating vote of sympathy.

'It's hard when you have implants,' Jordan said. 'Because of the chemical composition of the silicone gel they're really hard to warm up. It's one of the inherent problems you get with them. This is the reason why most people with implants live in warm places, like the Med, or Florida, or California.

'I mean, you don't see many Inuits or Siberians with placcy baps.'

Tara Palmer Tomkinson made a statement to the effect that she doesn't give a fuck either way because it was hardly something that would ever affect her.

We contacted David Beckham, who basically has fuck all to do with it and he told us:

'Women with placcy baps are stupid. Aren't they aware that those things can explode at high altitude? Like on planes and stuff?'

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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