In a shocking turn of fate, UK citizens are refusing to give to charity and directing charities to Jonathan Ross.
Arthur Everyman said " I have to pay £185 to the BBC each year, which I would prefer to piss up the wall or give to charity. But can I? ....NO!......why?.....cos it goes into the pocket of Jonathan Ross. So when the RSPCA and Children in Need, started begging me. I pointed them in the direction of Ross, he's got my money in his wallet they can get it from him".
Prostitute Sharon 'Shazzy' Elliston said " I have to go on the game in order to pay my telly licence, which makes the likes of Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand and the rest of those highly paid wankers and bunch of PIMPS".
Arthur Everyman added "I owe £50 on my council tax and I have simply written to the council and told them to get it from up Ross's arse-hole, he's got all my cash".
BBC bosses defended the salary of Jonathan Ross. " He is highly amusing and stimulates your chuckle muscles, he is worth every penny of his six million pound salary, as I am worth every penny of our £2000,0000 million salary" said one of the BBC Directors, who then made a spliff out of a fifty pound note, while his fellow director took a box of fifty pound notes to the bog, to use as a toilet paper.
The directors warned the general public, that if they decided to stop paying their compulsory licence fees, that they would have no option, but to jail the reprobates.
" I desperately need the public's money to shred up and line my hamster's cage" said the Head of the Beeb.