Written by The Big C O Jones
Print this
Topics: Police, Racism

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

image for Met Top Cop Withdraws Racism Claims £££
'You're Shi*ting Me' - The News of the Payout Filters to the Rank and File

Police Asst. Commissionaire Tupac Guffur has today sold his principles for a large amount of cash. 'Now that I've received a huge pay-off from the Met, I no longer think they are a bit racialist' he said.

In what was being lauded as one of the great stands 'against the system'. The high profile rozzer has shown himself for what he is 'a chancer who played the race card at the right time'.

Asst. Commissionaire Guffur was expected to stand firm as a man of principal and has recently denied rumours that he was going to accept a pay-off as that was not what he was after - however when the ink was still wet on the cheque, the money grabbing Ugandan jumped at it like he'd just sh*t the bed.

'Oh yes, after all this, it's been a terrible mistake and Sir Ian Blairt isn't a racist now' he said before muttering to an aide 'the funds have cleared haven't they?'. When pressed about the payment, the former politically correct appointed copper said 'Credit crunch, what credit crunch? i'm set-up for life now for doing nothing more than suggesting 'it's not fair' - sorted and fu*k you each and every one!'.

The Easy Ride for Black Police Association said 'This is a great victory for us and we are now amassing a class action against the Met on behalf of all of our members on the same grounds as Asst. Commissionaire Guffur as it seems we shall all get loads of cash without ever actually having to prove a damn thing regarding our accusations'.

It is also reported that a lot of white officers are paying hundreds of pounds to get that tanning injection reported in the press recently as they think they may be in with a shout of a similar claim on the grounds of them being treated differently because they're a bit orange in colour.

Make The Big C O Jones's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 4?

3 9 5 13
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more