Written by IainB
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Monday, 24 November 2008

image for Lights go out
Not near me!

Shocking news from the UK energy market have suggested that Britain could run out of electricity within ten years if something is not done quickly.

"Britain is set to lose fifty percent of its capacity to generate power within ten years," a consultant for Cap Gemini stated after a three year long investigation. "The government's plan to replace ageing nuclear and coal power stations with wind turbines hit an unforeseen snag that means that they will not be ready to come on line in time."

The snag is the BANANA (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody) attitude that has infected the British mindset in recent years. This has meant that the seven hundred turbines that should be up and running already have not even started to be built.

"It serves the do-gooders right," said Honesty Green, public spokesperson for the Green party. "We've been arguing for years that we need more turbines, but this has fallen on deaf ears largely because some people don't like the turbines. I'll be all right, I've got a turbine in my back garden, so I'll just sit back and laugh."

A MORI poll has suggested that people will blame the government if the power runs out, but on the same poll, the same people said that they didn't want any more power stations, turbines or anything that generates power built within a hundred mile radius of their house.

"We need to educate the public," Green continued. "Explain that power stations are a necessary evil if they want to charge their iPhone and watch their plasma TV. Where do these people think electricity comes from?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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