Written by Spandavia
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Topics: Banks, Santa

Saturday, 22 November 2008

A riot broke out yesterday when a gang of well dressed marauding ex bank executives mugged Father Christmas outside Selfridges. There were reports of serious injury especially to HBOS execs who, in turn, were mugged by Lloyds execs who claimed entitlement to any Scottish booty.

Several children were trampled under foot as their presents were viciously grabbed from them, while parents, fearing a similar fate, simply handed over wallets and valuables to the desperate Bankers. A Father from Halifax said "What happened to our children is disgusting. Adults are used to being fleeced by Bankers but I fear this will traumatise young minds and encourage them to believe theft is respectable."

A Spokesman for the Bankers said "We have warned the public and the FSA repeatedly, we have no intention of changing our luxurious life styles. We feel entirely justified in mugging Santa, he's no different to any other punter."

A Spokesman for the Met said "There's nothing we can do about this situation. These bankers are all over the streets now and no one is safe. Only last week we had the case of an ex Bank Chairman holding up a Post Office and terrorising pensioners. It was a silly idea to move the financial sector away from Edinburgh. I give it six months and the streets of London will look like Culloden. These people are giving the criminal fraternity a bad name."

Father Christmas refused to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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