Written by blastersump
Print this
Topics: Paul Gascoigne

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

image for Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner hurt in gym accident
'Five Bellies' on his way to the gym.

Paul Gascoigne's best pal, Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner was today recovering in Newcastle General Hospital after suffering a broken ankle at his local gym.

'Five Bellies' local doctor, Dr Who, who cannot be named for legal reasons, told our reporter "I told the fat basterd, if he doesn't get to the gym and lose some weight they'll be calling him six bellies."

'Five Bellies' gave this account of the accident from his hospital bed;

"I was giving it my best shot, running on the treadmill getting all sweaty and breathless when all of a sudden the bottle of 'Newcastle Brown Ale' I was supping spilt on to the track causing me to slip and fall. I should have listened to my little brother 'Two Bellies' when he told me "divvent gan te the fucking gym" (dont go to the fucking gym) "Gan canny or we'll dunsh summick" (Be carefull or we will crash into something.) and "Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza" (OK, I have had enough, I am going to the bar.")

Make blastersump's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

7 13 2 3
36 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more