Multinational toy manufacturers Fookhall Inc today announced the introduction of their latest toy, and, wait for it, it's a brick, that looks like a brick, feels like a brick, but because of its unique construction can't do the damage that a conventional brick would do.
Fookhall's new brick, called, quite appropriately, 'The Brick' has been described as the ultimate in toy technology.
'It's just amazing,' said washed up TV Presenter Timmy Mallet. 'If the wife or the kids are pissing you off, you can just twat them with the brick, and it won't hurt too much. You won't have to worry about skull fractures or broken eye sockets.'
'It's blinding' said out of work comedian Stan Boardman. 'You can sit watching the footy on the telly and lob bricks about to your heart's content without actually causing anybody any serious damage.'
'It's great this is,' said Alan Partridge. 'I can beat my stupid wife about the head indefinitely without having to worry about impending murder charges.'
Russell Brand reportedly said that he'd prefer to have a proper brick to bash Jonathon Ross's stupid head in with, and the Queen added her weight to the debate by saying that had the brick been invented years earlier, then she might have been able to knock some sense into Prince Charles.
A professional bricklayer told us to fuck off.