Written by Morgan Truce
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Monday, 7 June 2004

image for Yanks Seek Return to Crown Rule!
George III

A recent Gallup poll in the United States shows that 78% of registered voters are so dismayed with the foreign and domestic policies taken by the Bush administration, they would rather return to English colonial rule.

Even more surprising were the larger number of Conservative Republicans who favored Crown rule over the growing embarrassment of a continued George W. Bush presidency. In Boston, Massachusetts---a former hotbed of revolutionary fervor----lawyer John Adams led a large group of rowdy citizens seeking to petition British Prime Minister Tony Blair. "We hope Mr. Blair will send the Royal Navy back to America. Only when the British take occupation of the White House can we be rid of the tyrannical George W. Bush."

From his 5,000 acre subdivision in Virginia, Thomas Jefferson reported that he was working on a final draft of a "declaration" that would call for an end to the abuses of the Bush cabinet and return power to King George III. "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

The powerful Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General George Washington pledged that his Continental armies would not interfere with the new Tory government once installed. "I have dispatched two divisions of troops to Wichita, Kansas to fortify White Castle in order to protect Prince Charles and Camilla against any forces remaining loyal to Bush that are still active in that part of the country."

From 10 Downing, the Prime Minister announced a large bounty has been offered for the capture of George W. Bush, the First Lady, the twins, and their Scottish terrier, Barney. "We hope to have them brought to the Tower of London within the month, so that full re-colonization can be completed by July 4th. I wish to assure everyone that this time there will be no pardon for Barney---that little dog has caused enough trouble!"

Details developing...

The Gallup organization has requested that readers fill out the poll at the upper right of this page.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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