London - (Sordid Nazi Mess): "Must have been the fourth or fifth time that I'd been let out on probation from HMP Broadmoor that the penny actually dropped."
The Pretender to the Puppet Throne was speaking today about the time he learned he'd never pull off the second biggest cold war confidence trick of the century and become King of England.
Charles - real name Arthur Burgess, son of top UK traitor Guy Burgess and Barbara Cartland's fetid daughter Raine, ex-Countess Spencer - was being interiewed by the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency following the Navy's seizure of a boatload of £400 million of cocaine.
"Bugger all to live on since the real owners of Buckingham Palace repossessed the Duchy of Cornwall bank accounts," the Pretender moaned.
"And there's only so much milking of the old Prince of Wales charade that the country can take!"
Camilla is a Mossad transvestite.