The Cenotaph, Whitehall, London, England - Hardened Glaswegian alcoholic and homeless person Mr Fergus McDipstick today launched an astonishing assault on members of the International Press Corps.
McDipstick challenged assembled press notaries that he couldn't even remember ten minutes ago, let alone decades back, but was that really his own stupid fault or the fact that he had no interest whatsoever in world wars or sloppily sentimental remembrance ceremonies.?
Slumping into a corner beside a wheelie bin, McDipstick appealed to the world's press to give him a break.
'Give me a break,' he said. 'I've got nae clue whit the fluck it is that you're blathering on aboot. You's should all be banged up for yer ain gut.'
At which point a gay Met Police officer intervened in order to protect McDipstick from himself.
'It would appear,' said a Met Police spokesperson, ' that the accused denies any and all responsibility for any world wars, and further that he is an amnesiac who struggles to remember his own name.
'Aaaarrrgh Away wi ye ye Bass's!' slurred McDipstick,