Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 8 November 2008

image for Remembrance Service Abandoned As Crowd Forgets What It Was Supposed To Remember
Completely flummoxed

A Remembrance Service in the Midlands, to commemorate the dead of the First World War and token other conflicts, had to be abandoned today when the massed ranks of worshippers forget what they were supposed to be remembering.

As most people will know, George V decreed in 1919 that, at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month:

"All locomotion should cease, so that, in perfect stillness, the thoughts of everyone may be concentrated on reverent remembrance of the glorious dead."

The good people congregated at St Amnesiacs in Dudley, however, came over all forgetful when it came to remembering just what they were there for.

One man, Eric Drudge, couldn't tell us why he was present, and said:

"Is it summat to do with remembering?"

Others fared no better. Twins Ethel and Gladys Titus asked in unison:

"Is it to show support for those who have lost their memories?"

The soldiers of the 1914-18 war would have turned in their graves - and still might - at the apparent lack of awareness shown by the Black Country simpletons.

It was left to local historian Derek Glassblow to point out the reason for the service. He told them:

"It's to remember Duncan Edwards all the other brave Manchester United players who perished in that 1958 Munich air disaster."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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