Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 8 November 2008

image for Carol Vaudeville Off Countabout's Pneumatic Tits Upset Students And Geeks
Pre Op Vaudeville - Post Op Would Poke Your Fucking Eyes Out

That good old British televisual staple for the benefit of the reasonably intelligent unemployed of the UK, or their similarly unemployed student counterparts was lambasted yesterday by the very people who have supported the show since the early Eighties, when Carol Vaudeville was a mere slip of a lass.

The mathematical geniusess has allegedly grown several bra sizes larger since first gaining employment on the long running TV show.

When she kicked off she was was probably a B size, or something similar, but that was way back when.

Nowadays,complained students and geeks, all you can see when the rounds come round is this great big pair of Dolly Partonesque tits right there in your face, and that Vaudeville, despite being no spring chicken dresses only to impress virgin quasi-intelligent tossers with impending nipple re-fixation.

Or sexually frustrated tit-wank fantasizing older men.

Something should be done about Carol Vaudeville and those scary cannons. Like banish her from TV forever for alienating millions of sad wankers by way of her artificially cultivated top bollocks.

Even doyen of the dictionary, Suzie Bent has started wearing low cut shit, flashing cleavage and arousing sexual fantasy episodes among student wankers, despite not having washed her stringy, greased up hair in ten years.

Richard Whitby, honorary mayor of Wetwang, and more famously, deceased television presenter of Countabout declined to comment, but a relative was seen to gasp at the shocking increase in Vaudeville's bra size.

Now that's what I call in your face, he alleged. Spin your torso from side to side and slappa my face with 'em.
He is not thought to be Italian.

Suzie Bent was last seen disappearing up a back alley with a grade C celebrity whilst at the same time loosening her clothing. Her hair was reported to be reasonable, as in sliding down her greasy skinned face.

Yorkshire students were reportedly wanking themselves into oblivion at the very thought...

This organ recommends being neither a student, nor a plastic titted TV mathematician. There's no future in any of it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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