Written by Bureau
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Topics: Heather Mills

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Heather Mills is being touted by women all over the world after her huge divorce settlement with ex-Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney.

"So she got $50 million bucks", stated one-legged Ilene Johnson of Hadley, Massachusetts. "Good for her. I'm going to set my hat towards a wealthy bachelor even if he looks like Williard Scott...is he married by the way?"

In Little Rock, Arkansas, Brenda Fay "Portside" Dempsey told reporters there that Mills was an inspiration for her also. "I knew I should have sued Arnold Joe for more than the double-wide trailer and $400 a month. I'm gonna get back in touch with that mouthpiece in Maggody and see if I can't get that upped a might."

Meanwhile in Tokyo, Japan, twice divorced Irene Tarite stated, "I should have asked for more money since I got one leg too. Not mean that I got too legs, but one leg...also.
My last husband grandson of Kew Sakamoto who sung big hit, "Sukiyaki". I think I got, how you say "screwed". Ya, I got screwed but will go back to court."

Mills stated that she got over 500 calls from one-legged women from all over the world, wanting advice. She says she may write a book in the near future called "How To Win A One-Legged Ass-Kicking Contest".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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