The Chancellor has discovered a new stealth tax to lumber the Great British public with - a Special Recession Tax (or SRT).
With the price of motor fuel reducing throughout the country - except, of course, at motorway service areas - the government's subsequent tax take has reduced. The Government, having run out of things to tax, consulted Mrs Wanda Round of Exeter for her advice.
Mrs Round suggested that the Government should "Bugger Off" and "Go play with their recession". Other suggestions which she made the Chancellor felt were best left to Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand to leave on people's ansafones.
The new tax in being introduced from today. There are various rates being imposed: anyone blaming the Labour Government will be subjected to an SRT rate of 5%, anyone blaming the Chancellor will be charged 7% SRT and anyone blaming the Conservatives will be able to claim a special SRT rebate.
The Chancellor was said to be delighted at having discovered something else to tax.