Written by IainB
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Topics: UFO, Lisa Stansfield

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

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Rochdale, Lancashire

In the recently released 'UFO-Files' it has been revealed that Rochdale, in Lancashire, is the world centre of visits from other worlds.

Between 1960 and 1980 a total of 2900 sightings have been made over the dull Manchester overspill.

Whilst it is true that nearly three thousand of these have turned out to have rather mundane explanations, such as a reflection of Spotland's floodlights off clouds, a tree or a passing plane (and in one case, a cat), that still leaves less than a hundred unaccounted for.

PC Juhnson (no relation) was one of the more reliable witnesses who saw a large disc shaped object over the Wheatsheaf Centre in 1972. "It just hovered there without sound," said Juhnson, "like a reflection of Spotland's floodlights off a cloud."

Local celebrity, Lisa Stansfield, in a desperate attempt to revive her pop career jumped on the bandwagon when the news broke: "Like when I was a kid, you know, there was a whole fleet of 'em coming in over t'moors."

The moors around Rochdale have become known as the UFO-Triangle, though the shape is more of an oblong.

Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, dismissed the notion that Rochdale has something to offer extraterrestrial visitors. "There's nothing there," she said. "I went once, and nearly missed it."

One visiting alien said that his family always go there on holiday, despite there being nothing to do except play bingo. It had been a popular ET tourist spot for many years thanks to Jammies Bakery that sold the best Eccles Cakes in the universe.

Other-worldly visits to Rochdale have tailed off since Jammies Bakery was taken over by Greggs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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