The Longpoington family - father, mother and daughter - of Essex were settling down to an evening meal of artichokes and mushrooms, when two different squads arrived in their dining room.
The first was the bomb detection squad. The second was the Food Crimes Squad - I mean, it must be a crime to eat artichokes and mushrooms together!
Once somebody had paid the Food Crimes Squad the bail, the Longpoingtons were allowed to see the bomb squad.
It was discovered that the artichokes the family had been intending to devour were actually cunningly disguised grenades, which were sensitive to being bitten and would have exploded twenty seconds after the Longpoingtons had started on them.
The Longpoingtons thanked the bomb squad, and went to have a celebratory late supper of onions.
Twenty seconds later, an explosion was heard from the dining room.