Celebrity sweary chef Gordon Ramsay today backed up public opinion by stating unequivocally that farting was back in fashion.
'It's a pity really that farting has been so demonised in this politically correct age,' Ramsay said to an associate in Hell's Kitchen. He went on:
'Fine dining is all well and good, it's given me a fantastic living, but with the fine dining comes the farting, and the general public really need to get their heads around that.
'People in general seem to have lost sight of the fact that raising a buttock from the dining chair and rasping off a cracker whilst wearing a pained expression is one of the most satisfactory dining experiences ever, and the more it mings the better.
'A really minging fart should be a source of pride, and for anybody who agrees with my current stance on this important issue, here are some dishes that are guaranteed to produce farts so minging they'll curl up the carpet:
'Eggs - in any form. Cabbage. Continental Strength Lager, mushy peas, sauerkraut, baked beans, Guinness, chicken vindaloo, and doner kebabs with the works.
'We need to get Britain farting again,' Ramsay added. 'Fuck Jamie Oliver's Ministry Of Food, he's not even a qualified chef anyway, sign up to Gordon Ramsay's Academy Of Farting.'
Bravo we say.