Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 3 November 2008

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This Might Look A Bit Dodgy But You Can Bet Your Bottom Dollar It's Safer Than Coronation Street

Icelandic Assurance PLC today announced the final results from their exhaustive survey to find Britain's most dangerous street.

With a set of alarming statistics, the hands down winner was Coronation Street, Weatherfield, Manchester.

A spokesman said:

'For such a small street they've had far more than their fair share of tragedy. Ena Sharples fell down a hole on Monday and wasn't rescued until Wednesday, Len Fairclough's house blew up, Martha Longhurst dropped dead in the Rovers Return, Brian Tilsley got stabbed to death, Ernie Bishop got shot, Alan Bradley got run over by a tram in Blackpool whilst stalking Rita, Martin Platt got stalked by a nurse from hell, Liam Connor got deliberately run over, Richard Hillman bludgeoned Maxine to death with a big spanner, that woman tried to poison the kebab chap Jerry and Rosie Webster's been kidnapped by that weird bloke who says he's really in love with Fizz.

'Not to mention Ken Barlow's first wife getting electrocuted, Dierdre's Egyptian husband getting stabbed on the canal bank, Jim McDonald killing that dodgy bloke or Roy Cropper hitting people with his man-bag.

'It just goes on and on, however I don't have all day so people will just have to fill all the gaps in for themselves.'

So there you have it. Official. Don't even think about buying a house in Coronation Street. It's just not worth it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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