Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Russell Brand

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Russell Brand's grandma got well upset today when a reporter asked her if she spit or swallowed.

Mrs Leading Brand insisted that pressmen had overstepped the mark by asking such a disgusting question.

'What I do in the pursuit of oral sex techniques is not a newsworthy topic' Mrs Brand said. 'And furthermore, if my grandson cares to boast about his sexual conquests then that's no business of mine.

'Now if you all wouldn't mind leaving me alone for a little while I'd be eternally grateful. I'm a senior citizen suffering from excessive vaginal discharge and my butt plug is starting to chafe.'

With that Mrs Brand slammed the door on us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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