Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 1 November 2008

Arthur Pewty, notorious Neasden gangster and crime kingpin today admitted that he too had shagged Jonathon Ross's grandma.

'It was a long time ago,' Pewty admitted. 'But the memories linger. I'll never forget that woman. She was insatiable. She took it every which way and still came panting and slavering for more. In fact she was so insatiable that I had to give it up as a bad job in the end.

'Having said that, I wish no offence to Jonathon Ross or his red mulleted wife, who quite frankly I find a bit scary, but it should go on record that I didn't at any point go on national radio to tell the nation what a dirty old slapper Jonathon Ross's grandma was or point out that she had a fanny like a bill poster's bucket.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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