Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: suicide, Stupid

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Doctors were left shaking their heads in disbelief after a man, described as a 'daft bastard' was admitted to Burnley General Hospital following a failed suicide attempt.

The man, Mr Paul Wankbreak had attempted to hang himself with a bungee rope, sustaining serious head injuries as he bounced back repeatedly off the ceiling.

'It was a mess,' one doctor commented. 'There were lumps, bumps and abrasions all over his napper, but his neck was relatively unscathed.'

A spokesman from the charity 'Ending It All Efficiently' said:

'Idiots like this give suicidal people a bad name. Hanging yourself with an elasticated rope is never a good idea. You just keep bouncing back all the time and your head hits the ceiling with every bounce. This man certainly was a daft bastard.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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