Written by inanutshell
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Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Traffic Heavier Than Usual & Congestion Charge

"Traffic Heavier Than Usual" may lead people to think that there will be more congestion on the roads but the truth is that traffic is heavier is what it means - not because of more traffic but because drivers fill their tanks up to the top, carry more passengers and luggage in each vehicle and thus the vehicle is heavier.

With 95% of the vehicles on the road on Friday afternoons carrying families going away for the weekend, the scenario is satisfied, traffic is quite literally heavier than usual - even if the volume of traffic is less than at any other time.

As a result of this misleading description by the Department of Transport and the Highways Agency, it has been necessary to amend the "Traffic Heavier Than Usual" headline to "More Traffic Congestion Than Normal". However campaigners against congestion charges have called this a trick by the government to make people think there is more congestion on the roads than there really is and trying to brainwash the motorist into accepting the proposed congestion charging.

One campaigner against congestion charging, Mr. Van Chaser, said there was ever increasing congestion going on in the brains of politicians, ministers and bureaucrats going by how long it takes to get through to the relevant official, and called for congestion charging to be placed on government departments and officials who take too long to deal with the issues.

Mr. Chaser said that if motorists should pay a congestion fine for congesting up the roads then government departments should also pay a congestion charge for congesting up the offices with civil servants since it takes two civil servants to do the job a normal worker outside the civil service does. Mr. Chaser proposed that it be called the "Civil Servant Congestion Charge".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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