Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Jimmy Carr Rapidly Morphing Into Alan Hansen - Friends Concerned
A Vampire Yesterday, Photographed Through A Mirror

Friends of top telly comedian Jimmy Carr this evening voiced concerns regarding the billionaire comic's physical appearance, claiming that the comic was rapidly morphing into a double of TV soccer pundit and ex-Liverpool massively overrated defender Alan Hansen, who himself was once described as looking like 'a pissed up vampire.'

'I can understand that he's under a lot of pressure,' one close friend confided. 'But he really doesn't look well. He seems to be losing weight at an alarming rate and his legendary razor sharp wit seems to have deserted him. Quite frankly, I worry for him.'

At which point some old dosser shouted: 'It's the crack what does it. He's starting to look like Count fucking Dracula.'

At which point this reporter made his excuses and left.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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