Written by gobadine
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Topics: Jonathan Ross

Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Charity pledges to keep Ross off the air
Pudsey's friend, who made the allegations about the picnic fracas.

Donations to the Children in Need appeal have already started flooding in two weeks early and 95% of the donations are from people wishing to keep shamed potty mouth Jonathan Woss off the air and suspended indefinitely.

Pudsey was unavailable for comment, but a spokesperson for Pudsey told us: 'Bugger off, its none of your business,' and denied the rumours that Pudsey unavailable because he was in court after taking a shit in the woods, and ruining his guests' picnic.

Terry Togman Wogan was more forthcoming about the whole affair, speaking through a sober interpreter he was quoted as saying: "That effin Woss, thinks he's so effin funny. It's all scripted you know, that's why the public hate him, he's an effin basst... I love you I do, you're great. . .Arse. . .drink. . .feck. . .Drink.'

With two weeks to go and the BBC set to reach another record in donations, the organizers are already planning a follow up for next year. They plan to get Jonathan Woss pissed with Prince Phillip and send them to a convent girl's school with a film crew.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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