Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Russell Brand 'shagged all five of Andrew Sachs' granddaughters'
Two of the Sachs-Baillie slappers

London - (Sassy Ass Mess): Hampstead residents reckon their lothario comedian neighbor Russell Brand 'shagged all five of Andrew Sachs' granddaughters' and not just the eldest, burlesque glamor-dancer Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie.

Brand, 33, has regularly been seen canoodling after dark on Hampstead Heath with a steady stream of wannabe burlesque strippers including Poppy, Daisy, Iris, Rose and Two-Lip (sic) Sachs-Baillie.

"We keep finding their leather Agent Provocateur panties among the rhododendrons," NW3 resident Mrs Nora Ballsoff told reporters today.

Local gay-pride activitsts are also unhappy about the situation.

"Traditionally this part of the Heath is an exclusive gay-shagging site," Hampstead Heath warden Willy Tickla commented.

"Brand has deliberately brought the area into disrepute."

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