Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 29 October 2008

image for Congestion Charge Changes
Next to be excluded?

Manchester's congestion charge proposals are changing again. The proposals have already changed several times since their conception. Including setting them for time of day and direction, then excluding all taxis, buses, fire services and police cars from paying the charge.

Now, they are changing again.

Martian Carnivore, leader of Manchester City Council: "After consultation with the public over the objections, white vehicles will also be excluded. It was easier to exclude all white vehicles than just white vans. This also means that silver cars will be excluded, because they're very similar to white.

"We're aware that 95% of cars on the road today are silver, but feel that this is an acceptable price to pay, especially as we will be increasing the cost to other coloured cars from £10 to £5000 a day.

"As I live within the congestion zone, and I have had problems with my drains, I'm also going to lobby to have pink, orange and red vehicles excluded, because Dyno-Rod said they wouldn't service anybody inside the zone, and the three colours all look very similar to a computer. So I'm told by my Ferrari driving IT guy."

With exceptions also made for people on low incomes (below 40k a year, upped from 19k due to Carivore's wife getting a rise), people who have to travel up and down the road making deliveries, blue badge holders, anybody with a child in the car and anybody with a roof rack or trailer, it actually transpires that the congestion charge will be paid by only one person, Jeff Tompkinson of Didsbury.

"I think it's very unfair," said Jeff, "I personally will be funding the public transport system. I might get the bus, that'll show them!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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