Written by Pointer

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Topics: Boris Johnson

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

image for Bolshevik Boris Out Reds Ken by Leading Wage Slave Revolt
The Mayor's limo where the Nigerian cook is paid with a banana for showing her melons

Tory London mayor Johnson has earned the nickname Bolshevik Boris for his advocacy for football staff wages and benefits. Johnson is demanding that in his Great London Society even the rude footballing staff should earn a wage to live on and save on.

Johnson has condemned the £5.95 per hour pittance that wealthy football clubs pay their lackeys.

I investigated the remuneration of Johnson's staff and found some troubling contradictions:

  • His Nigerian cook is paid in bananas and melons
  • The Jamaican butler gets a daily allowance of weed
  • His Indochinese illegal nanny pays the Johnson family for the right to care for their little brats and not be reported to the authorities

The family chauffeur, of undetermined origins, asked me not to disclose his generous salary and benefit package, lest he be forced to return to Scotland.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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