Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Wednesday, 29 October 2008

image for Irish bookmakers refuse bet on Hull City UEFA Cup spot
Hull City mascot 'Tigger Woods'

Ireland's largest bookmaker was accused of running scared today when Carpenter, Humanitarian and world renowned philosopher Fergus McCarthy attempted to place a potentially lucrative bet in the local betting shop shop, Naas, County Kildare.

An attempt to place a 10 Euro treble, or, three result accumulator bet on the outcome of the Premiership title race, the U.S. election and a possible UEFA cup spot for next season was refused with no reasonable explanation offered.

Counter staff at the branch quoted Liverpool at 7/2 for the Premiership coupled with John McCain to win the race for the oval office at 11/2.

After enquiring after the odds on Hull city gaining a UEFA cup spot for next year the young lady promptly made a call to 'Head Office' for a price but after a short period of time was told to inform the punter that the booky was not offering a price at this time for a Hull/UEFA Cup spot.

After a brief but friendly light-hearted exchange during which I was ridiculed for even thinking of a Republican victory at this stage in the U.S. slanging match I was offered odds of 40/1 on Hull city playing Champions League football next year.

I made my excuses and left.

After further investigations back at the site canteen it was alleged by an electrician known only as Eamonn, that Hull City had been 'hand picked' for UEFA qualification in order to keep that 'small club hunger for success' as strong as ever.

The bookmakers have long been established as one of the most fearless, willing to take a punters money on anything from 'Elvis being returned to earth by aliens' or 'Little Kian' captaining his country to World Cup glory.

Any suggestion that the bookmakers had any inside information on UEFA qualifying spots being allocated mid season was quickly dismissed as "Talking shite!" by Jose the tiler.

Make Fergus McCarthy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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