London - (Frozen Ass Mess): London Meterological Office scientists have been gagged by a MoD D-Notice about the impact of an icy blast sweeping across the UK following the annihilation of a UFO mothership by Russian Air Farce (sic) fighter bombers somewhere north of Iceland this week.
The country has been told to prepare for freezing conditions but not for a nuclear winter anomaly as many suspect.
Hwoever satellite reports indicate that a massive thermo-nuclear reaction has caused the onslaught of a huge icestorm to decend on the UK after the alien craft was destroyed.
The craft had been surveilling Russian activites in the Arctic Circle for a number of months where state energy company Gazprom had been seen 'sucking out the oil and gas reserves' from beneath the permafrost.
Last year the UN Commission for Research into Extraterrestrial Life reported the Arctic's huge hydrocarbon deposits were being guarded by a fleet of UFOs after a vast subterranean lake of ET propulsion fuel was discovered nearby.
Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are to be exiled to Siberia.