Written by The Big C O Jones
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Tuesday, 28 October 2008

image for Brandy and Woss to Stand Trial at the Hague and Fight 'Telephone Prank' Death Sentence Calls!
'Who ya gonna call' - Evidence for the prosecution?

Unfunny junkie Russell Brandy and complete tw*t Jonathan Woss will stand trial at The Hague for the Radio 2 prank calls they made to Faulty Towers extra Andrew Suchs.

With the announcement by the Beeb this morning that they had referred the case to its industry regulator, Offcom has since admitted that they feel this matter is too much for them to handle.

'We cannot allow pre-recorded, pre-screened and BBBC Executive approved prank calls suggesting that current BBBC employees have screwed former BBBC employees grand-daughters to be broadcast to the nation' said an office junior at OffCom earlier today, 'so those basta*ds will have to hang for what they did to the nearly forgotten 70's TV sidekick and we just don't have the authority to pass a death sentence in this case - so we have referred the case to The Hague'.

Suchs was available for comment but just kept saying 'Que?' as he thinks he is a confused Spanish Waiter in real life.

Brandy and Woss, who are both sexually involved with each other as lesbians given that they are a right pair of cun*s said of the matter (through interpreters as you can never understand what the fu*k they are saying) 'It doesn't seem as funny now - especially as we may be executed because of it...and because the calls weren't even allowed in the free minutes we get with our mobile phone contracts because we'd used them all up making dirty phone calls to Prunella Scales'.

Unlikely support for Brandy and Woss came in the form of John Clease who used to hit Suchs a lot in Faulty Towers. Clease said of the case 'I must admit, I laughed my bollo*ks off when I heard what had happened - do you really think all them slaps the little sh*t used to get were fake? Not on you cheesy trouser-snake! Each and every one were for real and he had to take them because I wouldn't pay him if he didn't' he quipped. 'The irony is that we've all fu*ked his Grand-daughter senseless' continued Clease 'I still slip her one when I'm in town and so do all the surviving Pythons'.

Channel 4's Fonejacker is currently said to be in hiding and 'Shit*ing himself' as a result of these recent events.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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