Written by queen mudder

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Topics: London, Green

Friday, 4 June 2004

(London, Friday). The UK rag trade is agog at the news that car boot sale supremo Philip Green has offered "up to £ 9 billion" in a hostile takeover bid for UK security service MI5.

In an operation codenamed Poussin, Green yesterday put his money on the table and challenged the British spooks to "put up or shut up".

Anonymous sources who did not want to be quoted out of context said: "Philip Green is a shyster, fraudster and son of an ex-KGB gangster who bankrolled the IRA's 1980s London bombing campaigns. His personal fortune and that of his wife Tina were stolen from offshore accounts belonging to Enron. His personal date with destiny is imminent".

Lilly Safra is domiciled in Monaco.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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