Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 26 October 2008

image for Cumbria Marathon Latest: Hundreds Of Missing Runners Turn Up
What's it like inside?

Police and UFO experts have reopened the area around Keswick in Cumbria this morning, where the weather caused the Original Mountain Marathon race to be abandoned yesterday, leaving more than 700 of the competitors missing.

Miraculously, a scene unfolded today 70 miles away, north of Bradford, that was reminiscent of that in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, where all those World War II airmen turned up fifty years later in their clapped-out planes.

All the runners turned up again, looking dazed and dishevelled in their little running shorts and vests. They came walking out of a unnatural mist, after scientists from the Ministry of Defence had closed off an area around Keighley, where local residents reported seeing bright lights in the sky for several hours, and hearing "strange sounds".

All the competitors were taken away for debriefing by trained MoD interrogators, who said they hoped to learn what it was like inside a UFO, if ever one landed in the Lake District and abducted 700 marathon runners.

A report on the incident is expected to be published in 50 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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