Written by IainB
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Topics: Health, NHS, Doctors, IT

Friday, 24 October 2008

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Say ARRGH!

After a £12billion injection of cash into the IT sector of the NHS, it has been revealed that most of it was wasted.

Lord Darzi's report into the 'internetification' of the NHS highlighted several shortfalls. Although hospital patient records are now completely computerised, they are still printed off to be left on buses and trains, although one or two NHS trusts have moved into the digital age by leaving Flash Drives containing the data on buses and trains.

Hospitals have started to routinely book appointments through the internet, but it is rare that any of the appointments booked actually happen at the time, or indeed the day (and sometimes the year), requested. This has led to increasing dissatisfaction in the patient community, many of whom are too ill to complain.

"It's a bit of a catch-22," said Joseph Heller. "People can book their best day to come and see us, but we're normally full on those days with the people who booked other days but couldn't be seen."

There was also a suggestion that GPs should be able to be emailed by patients. Doctor Crippen, head of the General Medical Council was infuriated by this particular criticism.

"It's bad enough at parties," Crippen said, "As soon as you tell somebody that you're a doctor, everybody develops an illness they want you to diagnose. Imagine being able to email your GP! All those old dears that have a never ending list of symptoms will be contacting constantly; if not more often!"

Some areas of the NHS have improved. IT department staff all now have Ferraris.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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