Following an allegation that Arthur Pewty was dead and that he had a dead parrot stuffed up his arse, Neasden crime kingpin Arthur Pewty today responded by holding a press conference in a local branch of Jock Donalds.
'It's MI6,' Pewty claimed. 'I tell you they've always had it in for me. And as for some internet geek alleging that I'm based on a character from Monty Python, well that's just ridiculous. We may share a name, but we certainly don't share a demeanour. I keep telling you all that I'm not a gangster, but if these allegations continue then somebody may well regret it.'
Arthur Pewty then went on the record to state that his previous, more expansive statement was cut off in mid flow by British intelligence agencies.
'It's a conspiracy,' Pewty claimed, before adding, 'I'm off up the shops now. Laters.'