HRH The Queen was today nominated as the ultimate neighbour from hell by Mr Sydney Operabridge, a 27 year old Australian homeless alcoholic with substance abuse issues.
Mr Operabridge, who regularly dosses out in a puddle of his own piss in the vicinity of Buckingham Palace said: 'It's a fackin' nightmare man, living with Her Madge as a bloody neighbour. There's always troops and stuff marching about with their bloody great hobnailed boots on, cavalry blokes coming and going on their bloody great horses, coppers checking security, bloody TV crews pissballing about asking the stupidest bloody questions.
'I nearly got run over the other day by a diplomatic limo. This really is everybody's worst nightmare. I used to love Her Madge, Gawd bless her, but she really tries my bloody patience at times.'